The other day I was making my morning coffee that I do in my Keurig Duo. I only really use the k-cup side. I needed to add more water but instead I went in the fridge, got my creamer and started to pour it in the reservoir. The whole time it didn't compute that this was wrong. I visualized a RPG and warning signs accompanied but flashing red Xs should have gone off. Yet I ignored it all. It wasn't until the moment the creamer hit the water and the mixture wasn't the bubble swirling water I expected. It was cloudy and opaque. I was so done but I left it in there and let it brew. The creamer needed to be added any way. Another instance was a day where I kept repeating myself like I never said what I said before. I mean like announcing it. The only reason that I knew that I was repeating myself was because people kept asking me why I was repeating myself all day. I was a bit embarrassed because I had no idea that was doing it. Moments like these make me feel like I have dementia. Seriously, but its only when I'm symptomatic.
The other day I was making my morning coffee in my Keurig Duo. I only really use the k-cup side. I needed to add more water but instead I went in the fridge, got my creamer and started to pour it in the reservoir! The whole time it didn't compute that this was wrong. Picture it, a RPG and warning signs accompanied and red Xs flashing before you eyes. Yet I ignored it all. It wasn't until the moment the creamer hit the water and the mixture wasn't the bubble swirling water I expected but cloudy and opaque. I was so done with myself but I left it in there and let the coffee brew because the creamer needed to be added any way. Another instance was a day where I kept repeating myself, like I never said what I said before. I mean like announcing it thinking that I was saying something new.. The only reason I knew that I was repeating myself was when people kept asking me why I was repeating myself all day. I was a bit embarrassed because I had no idea that was doing it. Moments like these make me feel like I have dementia. Seriously, but its only when I'm symptomatic.
My job consists of multitasking. I have to talk to people while looking up accounts and reading numbers, changing services and interacting with different departments. On a regular day I can do this with my eyes closed but on a foggy day, I mess up the simplest of names and I confuse numbers. When this happens have to slow down and do my tasks very carefully and take breaks to manage. If things get too bad then I have to take time off. This not just a bad connection, like my brain has dial up but its a symptom that is usually accompanied with fatigue. Not the run of the mill, coffee will help you perk up kind of fatigue. However, its the kind that you need to crawl in bed to rest.
This also affects memories because unless it is firmly attached to an unforgettable event, I can't recall like I used to because details become fuzzy. Things that I didn't just witness from a far, but actually participated in don't have much meaning at times. I need to take more pictures to catalogue my life.
Having a condition that is invisible but has physically difficulties, is hard. People can't see it an assume that you are faking or making more it than it is. This is not to line people up for a pity parade but just to bring awareness to how people function on a day to day. Be kind to people because all disabilities don't present the same.
Until next time.